Men's Ways Of Being by Christopher Mclean

Author:Christopher Mclean [Mclean, Christopher]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Social Science, Gender Studies
ISBN: 9780429973093
Google: ai1NDwAAQBAJ
Publisher: Routledge
Published: 2018-02-20T03:36:13+00:00

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Sunday Mowing

Laurence Carter

Recently, my work as an educator has led me to consider the different ways we can look at intolerance of gay men, lesbians and bisexual people. This piece of writing forms one part of a wider debate that challenges all values and prejudices emanating from a dominant culture that is intolerant of difference. Given my own context and experiences, I really only feel confident in talking about these issues as they relate to gay men. There are many important parallels for lesbians, and bisexual people, as there are important differences, but I think it’s best that they write for themselves.

I value highly the notion of the celebration of difference. I have experienced and witnessed the pain of trying to conform to dominant expectations. There can be a great deal of sacrifice in doing this. The most important is the sacrifice of self worth, individuality and confidence. For this reason, I’ve been particularly interested in exploring the influence of these dominant expectations on the lives of gay men in Australia. I specifically mention Australia as this has been my experience. I’m always suspicious of global statements, and feel it’s important to state the measure of the breadth of my cultural experiences that inform my discussion. So, enough to say that mine is relatively narrow, with perhaps just enough experience of issues in the USA and the UK to make some tentative comparisons. As a gay man and a social work trained counsellor, I have been privileged to have had, and to have had shared with me, a wide variety of experiences. This is one of the main reasons why I now feel that I have something to say.

The fact that a major part of my last ten years has been lived and worked in the time of HIV and AIDS is central to this discussion. For one thing, it has given me the most impetus to make sure something gets done to challenge the ongoing prejudice and discrimination against gay men. Witnessing the degree of suffering from the stigma of homosexuality, galvanised by the stigma of AIDS, is the stuff of powerful experience. Living in the midst of chronic illness and death is a pretty good way of adopting the resolution that ‘My life is the show, it ain’t the rehearsal.’

I’ve just turned thirty-six, and I live in the suburbs of Melbourne with my partner and our mate (and mentor) Bob the Dog. We were bom in Australia, our ancestors are white, originally Irish and English, and a mix of protestant and Catholic. Sometimes all of this seems dangerously close to the profile of the White Aussie Dream-Makers - the family sedan, the house in the suburbs, the sensible career and the right number of dependants. We’re close to fulfilling the dream, but not quite close enough. The fact that we’re both men may have something to do with this, not to mention our dependant who has four legs instead of two.

We recently decided to move out to the suburbs and away from the gay ghettoes of inner Melbourne.

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